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If you have read “Simplifying Your Wardrobe” or “Why It’s Hard to Let Go” on capsule wardrobes you may be familiar with Courtney Carver and her Project 333 Challenge. Well her book, along with many others, has been on my reading list for some time. Finally I have gotten the chance to read it, and it’s a great read! “Soulful Simplicity” is well written and shows us, through her life’s journey, how to de-clutter our lives and focus on the things that really matter to us.

As we all know most of American culture revolves around consumerism. Courtney, by wanting to provide a better life for her daughter after a rough custody battle, dedicated her life to her daughter. Unfortunately Courtney thought this meant getting a job that paid more so she could provide a larger house and buy more material items for her child that couldn’t even appreciate it (her daughter at the time was only two). It wasn’t until Courtney met her breaking point with a maxed out schedule and a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis in her thirties that she began her journey towards simplicity and really started to realize that relationships and time spent together matter more than material possessions. 

Her wakeup call was a diagnosis but your wakeup call could be anything. It could be a “life on autopilot”, one spent just running through the motions because it’s what you “should” do. It could be that you spend all your time trying to please others before you’ve taken care of yourself first and you feel run down and dissatisfied. Do you self-medicate with food or TV? You may not be able to pinpoint one specific contributor and may be feeling worn down, stressed out, and depleted, looking for a change.

One of the first things she discusses is your self-evaluation. She uses the term “making you” and it involves asking questions and truthfully answering them to pinpoint what is working, what isn’t working, and rediscovering what you love. How are things going in life? If you feel that things aren’t going well, then you know you have some changes to make. How do you feel physically and emotionally? If you are feeling emotionally and physically run down then you may need to change up some of your routines and decrease your commitments. In Courtney’s situation, with her diagnosis, it was necessary for her health. Another great question she brings up during this exercise is acknowledging what you envy and lie about. If you envy what others have you should realize that the grass is not always greener on the other side. If you are in denial about your own life or financial situation, that should be a wake-up call for you. Putting on a front for others does nothing to improve your life or social status. Courtney impresses that you should take notice when you start to compare yourself to others, stop yourself, and then assess why you are doing it. Essentially you need to nip the behavior in the butt! With this exercise you can determine what changes you have to make in addition to any others you want to make. Assessing the good in your life, what you love about it, will highlight your priorities and the life you actually want to live. While Courtney suggests that you could do this exercise while “holding your heart” (literally meditating while placing your hand over your heart), which is a little too “feelsy” for me, you can certainly complete your life evaluation anywhere or at anytime.

She also created this idea of a “simplicity summit” for both her and her husband to review their goals together and create action plans. They both set aside time in their calendars so they could avoid any excuses that might arise to not complete the exercise. The session can be as simple as reviewing bills for the month or establishing a plan on how to obtain your 5, 10, and 20 year goals. Some tips she provides include eliminating distractions (no cell phones, TV or other potential interruptors), creating an agenda, talking and listening, asking questions, writing down ideas and/or topics, creating action steps for both you and your spouse, and setting another date to discuss. Their five section document includes categories of money, health, questions and discussions, what they are working towards, and the action steps for each person. I love her idea of setting a date to review at the end of each session because you won’t be changing any habits without making this a routine and sticking to it. You might be able to get away with quick, frequent check-ins for smaller goals while reserving longer, more in-depth sessions for long-term goal analysis. My husband and I don’t schedule time to sit down and have lengthy discussions about money or goals, but we don’t feel we need to as we often talk about it. We’ve established a bunch of short-term goals to accomplish this year as well as some long-term goals. Once we have completed our short-term goals we’ll then need to re-evaluate what direction we want to head in. If you have a busy schedule, tend to avoid conversations about money, or tend to make excuses to not do something or avoid tough discussions, then scheduling a specific time sans distractions might be more beneficial for you as well as setting up a regular routine for follow-up.

Being a simplifying “queen”, this book wouldn’t be complete without some helpful simplifying tips. Here are some general tips from the book:

1. Fear limits our actions, and if we can just push past it to take action we will crush our fears. 
2. On her journey she also shared that we need to realize that we can’t do everything today. In the past she had tried to change too many things at once which just led to failure. This most recent time she eased into it, took baby steps, and it’s had a lasting effect. 
3. There are times in life where we just can’t change an outcome and sometimes we just need to breath and let go to move past it.
4. We need to focus just on ourselves, rather than those around us.
5. Before Courtney was diagnosed with MS she always worried about making ends meet. After she was diagnosed with MS she realized her medical costs were going to increase and that having fewer ends to meet would be better. That mean paying off debt and buying less stuff.

Clutter attracts clutter, whether that be physical or emotional clutter. For physical clutter, Courtney and her husband use the $50 rule. If they think they can get $50 for an item, then they try to sell it. For anything less they donated it. While you may feel guilty for all of the money you spent on different items you may not have even used, you have to remember the time you are going to spend trying to sell them. Is it worth it to spend “x” amount of hours for something you may only get $10 for? It’s entirely up to you, but you should establish some rules if you are trying to sell some of your items. I sometimes have a hard time with this one, but the more I de-clutter the easier it is to let go. No matter what you are de-cluttering, whether it be your closet or any other room, set your minimum price.

And that guilt? If you’ve attached guilt to your things, Courtney says that guilt will often leave you when you get rid of those items. You’re trying to create a new start, and guilt will just cause you unnecessary stress. You may have gotten so used to it that you forgot you have a choice and that it doesn’t contribute positively to your life. While we can’t change the past, we can acknowledge it and choose what we want going forward. If you aren’t 100% sure that you can live without those items, box them up, store them, and re-evaluate in a few months. Did you miss them? If not, it might be time to officially get rid of them. You have a limited amount of time and space in your life. Don’t fill it with guilt and regret.

While I love design, I am also intentional with my purchases. I have found ways to decrease costs by creating it myself, one of my favorite hobbies, or just living with the “empty” space; the same “empty space” that freaks most people out. My sister has created a bunch of artwork for our home as gifts and I love displaying them. They have meaning. But I won’t fill up a space with items that don’t fulfill a need and doesn’t have meaning because a space “feels” empty. The intention is not to de-clutter so you can buy more things. That doesn’t break the cycle, it only feeds the habit. “When you need to buy things for your things, it’s time for fewer things”. Before running out and filling the space you just de-cluttered, take a few days or weeks to adjust. You may be happy that you have less to clean. 🙂 Less is not nothing. If you still feel that your empty space could use something, fill it with something that brings you joy and has meaning.

Another part of Courtney’s simplifying journey included becoming debt free. If your goal is to pay down some debt Courtney suggests buying everything on paper first. I think this is a great strategy to implement. Anytime you want to buy something that is absolutely not a necessity, write down what it is and how much it cost on paper. After 30-60 days tally everything up. I think you’ll be surprised at how much you’ve “spent”. Is there anything on the list that you still want? Things that you once thought were important could have just been impulse purchases. Another strategy she discussed that was a new concept for me was if someone gave you the money, would you use it to purchase the items on your list or to buy something else? If you would put it towards bills or other necessities rather than buy what is on your list, those items aren’t really that important. Another strategy that I think works great is to think about how many hours or days you had to work in order to buy a particular item you are thinking of purchasing. Is it still worth it? It may or may not be. If it is, you really should do some research to buy as good as a product as you can for what you can afford. Quality items last longer. If you are interested in setting up a budget or paying down some debt, head on over to “Budgeting 101” for a free budget download and tutorial I created!

For those who are still a little freaked out by simplifying our possessions, it’s ok. Change is hard, but just know that simplifying is not the end goal. “We don’t simplify to have a simple life, we simplify to live.” When your life is cluttered you lose sight of what is important to you. By simplifying you gain more time, more energy, more meaningful work, and can do more of the things that inspire you. If you learn to say no, then you can make room for the things you want to say yes to. You are more available for the people you love and the projects you care about. You should want to make a life you are excited to wake up to everyday! “If you have to step away from your values to get your needs met, you aren’t really meeting your needs.” And your health, wellness, and values are so important to prioritize as it makes you who you are! You don’t even need to start with simplifying your possessions. Try eating more healthy, prioritize sleep, go for a walk, or just sit in silence and “listen” to your thoughts. Perfect isn’t real. If you wait for the “perfect” time to start simplifying you’ll never get started. It doesn’t matter how long it takes (it took Courtney 10 years!), it’s a continuous process and nothing is as important as just starting. If you are only simplifying because it’s the “on-trend” thing to do now, without any true intention you’ll never be satisfied. Simplifying isn’t just purging, it’s a lifestyle.

Have any of you read the book? What did you think? Do you have any simplifying tips you’d like to share? I’m eager to hear from you!